Let me preface this by saying that I am in no way claiming to know a lot of things- but I am claiming to know one thing. I used to say that I preferred cold weather to hot weather. I hate sweating, I think it's gross. I used to say, "You can always put more layers on, but there's only so many you can take off." Well, that was flat out not true. I guess you can technically put on an indefinite amount of layers, but let me tell you something right now- there comes a time (or, more accurately, there comes a temperature) when it no longer matters how many layers you wear. There also comes a time when I refuse to put any more clothes on. My limit is three pairs of pants. If I am wearing three pairs of pants and I'm still cold, it's no longer my responsibility to regulate my body temperature. If I'm wearing three pairs of pants and die of hypothermia, I refuse to believe it's my fault. It's not my fault. It's NATURE'S fault, and Nature can be a jerk. Sometimes Nature says to herself, "Let's make it negative five degrees today...with forty mile an hour winds!" That's not cute, and it's not funny. Why would anyone do that?? Also, Alaska messes with your mind. I'm not kidding. Allow me to explain winter weather to you: If it's cloudy and raining, it might be cold, but it's a sweatshirt kind of cold- very tolerable. If it's cloudy and snowing or sleeting, it might look really nasty outside, but it won't be super cold feeling. You can still breathe and feel all of your appendages at this point. HOWEVER, if you look outside from December to February and the sun is shining, not a cloud in the sky? Do not fool yourself into thinking you will live for more than thirty seconds if you go out in anything less than 37 layers, because you won't. You will die, and you will be happy to die, because no one wants to live more than thirty seconds when you're that cold.
So, in short, the summary of this post is this: If you are one of those people down south who have been wishing for winter weather lately (snow, cold, wind, etc.), we can no longer be friends, and I feel bad for you. You just don't know. You just don't.
(Disclaimer: There were many, many exaggerations in this post. For example, if you want snow, we can probably still be friends. We just can't talk about weather. Ever.)
